There are two types of men in this world. Those who opt for “Hey!”, “Hi!”, “What’s Up?” and “How’s it going?”; and those who actually see results from dating apps.
It can feel really awkward to start a conversation on a dating app.Everything feels cheesier and forced when you're trying to get the conversation going, but it's like ripping off a Band-Aid. Apr 29, 2021 Last Updated on April 29, 2021. Since popular dating app, Tinder, was released in 2012, it has changed the way people date. Sure, you can still scope out a cute guy or girl at a bar. Dating apps like Sweet Pea are trying to solve this conundrum by helping users make more meaningful connections with their matches. There are a few ways to do this, but the new app is betting that. Approaching your romantic adventures with a dash of humor might just be the way to find love, so you'd be wise to have a few funny opening lines to send on dating apps at the ready.
Much like with style, on dating apps, the key to standing out in a sea of sausage is to switch it up and show some originality. We spoke to the experts and sifted out all the obvious advice – Sunday at 9pm is peak time, avoid gym selfies and, please, no dick pics – to leave the lines that’ll act like the milkshake to your yard.
Chocolate, Banana Or Vanilla?
Dating app Hinge recently conducted a study in which analysts sorted 100 of the most common opening lines and put them to the test. Unsurprisingly, the outcome between men and women was vastly different.
The study found that men are 98 per cent more likely to respond to assertive, invitational messages such as “Fancy grabbing a drink?” over a bog standard “Hey”.
One of the most successful topics of opening lines for women, though, was food. The result showed the fairer sex is over 40 per cent more likely to respond to food-related questions like “What’s your favourite milkshake?”
Just be sure to avoid making any banana or aubergine gags, as anything that insinuated sexual activity saw a 14 per cent drop in chances.
Age Is More Than Just A Number
In the same study, Hinge analysed the data to see whether the age of the recipient was a factor in what they would and wouldn’t respond to. The answer was a resounding yes.
For someone aged 18-23, a ‘novelty’ opener is best to ensure a response. “Your portrait is being painted – what’s the backdrop?” came out on top, but basically anything slightly off-kilter works for the younger crowd.
At 24-28, people are less likely to fall for something trying to be funny, but they will respond positively to a conversation about lifestyle or activities. One of the most popular opening lines involved asking the other person how they liked to spend a Sunday (which helpfully provides a pretty easy segue into asking them out on a date).
Asking a 29-34-year-old about themselves proved most successful, with the standout response going to “Two truths and one lie – go.”
As for those aged 35 and above, pop culture references work best – the aim is to verify you are at least able to hold a conversation about the same things.
Hey Is For Horses
“Hey, what’s up?” may seem like a harmless play-it-safe icebreaker, but Tinder’s own study into opening lines suggests you’re better off saying anything but.
The success of the generic opener was taken as a baseline in the study, and pretty much everything ranked above it.
Being unique, funny and referencing a match’s images was a much more successful way to grab attention. According to a study by dating site Match.com, 97 per cent of women think a sense of humour is just as attractive as chiselled good looks. That explains Seth Rogen’s smoking hot wife.
Get Giffy
Tinder’s study also looked at the success of using GIFs alongside opening lines. The findings were unanimous: easing in with an animation makes people 30 per cent more likely to respond, and will double the length of a conversation.
“GIFs allow people to better say what they want to and express emotion, which is something that’s really difficult to do in text alone,” says Tinder co-founder Jonathan Badeen.
To get you started on your GIF odyssey, Tinder has even released the 20 most successful opening animations. View the top three below and check out the full list here.
You’re welcome.
1. The Ol’ Jimmy Fallon “Haaaaaay”
2. The Saved By The Bell-O Hello
3. The Pizza My Heart
In the world of dating apps/websites, there’s so much competition out there for cute girls, your opening line can make or break whether she will engage. How many times have you gotten matched with a PYT, but when you message her, she doesn’t respond? You hope that she got hit by a bus or something, but odds are, she was just turned off by your approach.
It’s insanely difficult to be funny, engaging, interesting, etc., in an opening line with a girl you know nearly nothing about. But while you may be a boring dolt who is a complete drain on society, I’m a creative genius, and have perfected the art of openers. Today, on this blog, I am giving away 42 openers to all of you…COMPLETELY FREE OF CHARGE. All I ask for in terms of payment is that if one of my openers helps you land a girl, you think of me when you hook up with her (but not, like, in a gay way or anything, be cool).
Not every girl calls for the same opener, so I’ve grouped them based on different situations. Please use discretion when choosing your opener. Using a Flirty Opener when the girl’s profile clearly calls for an Edgy Opener could lead to disaster. Best of luck.
CONFIDENT OPENERS:
– Just got a haircut without running it by my mom. NBD.
– Hey there, pretty lady. What should we order for breakfast the morning after our date? KEEP IN MIND, I AM GLUTEN INTOLERANT AND ALLERGIC TO NUTS.
– I’m not saying I’m the type you can take home to your mom, but I’m definitely the type you can take home. Please do, actually, I’m homeless :(.
CURRENT EVENT OPENERS:
– How ‘bout this Crimea and Russia situation? You know what else is a Crimea? That you and I aren’t getting a drink right now.
– After looking at your pictures, my pants feel like Syria—a lot of unrest.
– My heart’s breaking over these bloody insurgencies around the world. I just wish there was more I could do, ya know? Do you like making out?
FLIRTY OPENERS:
– Hey cutie. You look like my step-sister… I’ve always had a crush on her.
– Do you know how to play pool? If not, I could seductively come up behind you and teach you. Full Disclosure: I’ve never actually played pool.
– FYI: I like being big spoon. But I’ve been known to do some little spoon, hehe. I’m also a fantastic fork. Ugh, I’m out of forks right now. It’s so annoying because I don’t own a dishwasher. Technically I do, but it’s such a piece of shit. It doesn’t work. What were we talking about?
EMO OPENERS:
– What’s the point of having a partner when we all die alone? But, I guess, if there’s anyone I’d be okay with wasting away the rest of my life with, it’d be you.
– Sometimes I feel like I could go missing for weeks before anyone even noticed. I’d definitely notice if you went missing, on account of your nice boobs.
– I think I love you more than I’ve ever loved myself.
EDGY OPENERS:
– If you had to commit genocide, what race of people would you do it to and why?
– Standard rules dictate that you shouldn’t talk about politics or religion on a first date… I won Student Council President in seventh grade, same year that I had my Bar Mitzvah. I don’t play by the rules…
– I curse in front of my parents… what the fuck are they gonna do about it?
Shutterstock
MANLY OPENERS:
– Just sitting here drinking a beer and watching the game. Also, checking out an adult film on my laptop and calling my friend derogatory names. Impressed?
– My beard is growing its own beard.
– Hey, tits. One time I threw a football so hard, I almost dropped my whiskey, but I was able to catch it with my elephant trunk of a penis.
POLITICAL OPENERS:
– Hilary Clinton really seems like she’s positioning herself to take a run at president in 2016. I’d like to position my groin to take a run at you.
– Just enrolled for health insurance via Obamacare. Says it covers my dependents too. Any interest in filling that opening?
– I’m not much of a political guy, but I just had to let you know that after going through your pics, I’m rocking a pretty hard John Boehner.
PHILOSOPHICAL OPENERS:
– Sometimes I question why God allows bad things to happen to good people. For example, how have we never gone on a date?
– Fuck, Marry, Kill: Nietzsche, Kierkegaard, Dostoyevsky?
– If the technology existed, do you think it would be ethical for scientists to clone you? And if so, do you think your clone would be down for a threesome? Bring it up to her casually.
SELF-CONSCIOUS OPENERS:
– Can’t believe we matched together. You’re so pretty, and physically speaking, I am simply hideous. I was cast to play the Hunchback in my school play, and we weren’t even doing The Hunchback of Notre Dame. It was for The Lion King. They added a hunchback just for me. Anyway, how are you?
– I feel silly asking you this, you probably get hit up by like fifty guys a day, I know you’re out of my league, and there’s no shot you’ll ever respond to this, but I just wanted to say, this is so stupid, you’re probably showing this to all your friends right now and laughing, my god, I am just not cut out for this… *sigh*… how was your day?
– We both know where this is heading. Let’s cut to the chase—call me an insensitive, self-involved, immature asshole and break up with me.
AGGRESSIVE OPENERS:
– Ya know what the difference is between you and an angel? I’ve never masturbated to a picture of an angel.
Best Intro Lines For Dating Apps
– I’ve thought it over, and I’m okay with you keeping our yet-to-be-conceived baby.
– Tell me about the biggest trauma in your life, give me your address, leave the door unlocked, I’ll be there in fifteen.
OMINOUS OPENERS:
– Your bedroom is such a mess…
– I would hate it if you met an untimely demise prior to our first date…
– We would’ve made such a good couple. Real shame…
SENSITIVE OPENERS:
– So exhausted. Been playing with my nephew and his new puppy in a flower patch all day while helping to feed the homeless.
– I love my mom, and my grandma, and my sister. I pretty much love and respect all women. Except for my Aunt Janice, she’s a dumb bitch.
– Just wanted you to know that it doesn’t matter why you’re annoyed with your roommate right now, I agree with you 100% and am here for you.
CONFUSING OPENERS:
-and trust me, that’s being generous. Hold on I have a call on the other line. Hello?
– I don’t give a holy hell what Oprah says, I refuse to acknowledge Wiccans as a political party.
– Congratulations! Thank you for enrolling in a relationship with (your name). To continue receiving these messages, reply ‘HEY’. To unsubscribe, reply ‘FUCK OFF’.
RICH GUY OPENERS:
– Ugh, my personal chef made lobster steaks again. It’s like, how ‘bout a little variety, you piece of shit!?
– Need help with a big decision – should my new yacht have a helipad OR a tennis court sized hot tub OR an aboveground wine cellar filled with gold?
Best Intro For Dating Apps Free
– Guess who’s no longer on his parents cell phone bill…?